


Paralyzed

by Daevani



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Expanse Fandom Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 19:51:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daevani/pseuds/Daevani
Summary: Drummer is forced to deal with her thoughts and feelings in a way that is unfamiliar to her.Takes place right after the events of season 3 finaleSpoilers for Season 1-3 and Leviathan Wakes, Caliban's War, Abaddon's Gate





	Paralyzed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ButchCraft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButchCraft/gifts).



The gel of the couch was pleasantly cool on her neck and the humming of the air recyclers created a calming rhythm that made her sleepy. Drummer liked to imagine it was an equivalent to the sound of the sea, which apparently was a big thing for Earthers. Of course there was more to it, even if she wasn’t consciously aware of the subtle background noise most of the time, its ever threatening absence was the most deafening sound she could imagine. That was something Earthers would never be able to understand because air was something so natural and obvious to them that is was something they didn’t appreciate but rather something they demanded.  
Drummer grunted loudly, frustrated with herself. Normally when she would feel the always present anger rising up under the surface, ready to blow up, she would work out, punch a bag or a ball…but now, now her legs wouldn’t let her. She hated the med bay, not for the obvious reasons people hated med bays, but for the way it seemed to ridicule her. Lying here not being able to stand on her feet or support her body, waiting for her spine to grow back while hoping she wouldn’t get a lung inflammation or thrombosis or any other of the numerous ways her body could stop functioning, just felt like defeat, and if there was one thing she hated it was defeat. 

The sound of the door sliding open interrupted her mental spiral into nothingness. 

“Kewe to? You feeling better?” Naomi walked in, a steaming bowl in her hands and an encouraging smile on her face.  
“Never felt better” Drummer answered sourly, not entirely able to hide the rush of affection flooding her body upon seeing her. Naomi’s smile widened and she sat down on the couch next to Drummer passing her the bowl, which contained an indefinable mass resembling fungal curds.  
“..felota..” Drummer grumbled something indistinct wrinkling her nose.  
“Yeah I know, sorry…” Naomi said “It’s all we have left. It’s time we dock somewhere.” 

While continuing to update her about the work that had been done the past hours to restore the ships and their crewmembers from the aftermath of travelling through the Ring and the opening of the gates, Naomi spread the array of pills Drummer regularly had o take in front of her and pulled out a small vacuum flask from under her jacket.  
“I thought you could use something stronger to get all this down” she indicated the medicine, handing drummer the flask. “Yam seng.”#

Drummer smiled, feeling her thoughts drifting back to the first time she had met Naomi on Tycho right after Eros. After she had talked the crew through the process of fixing up the Rocinante, Naomi and her had gone for an intense round of ball, followed by a long night of excessive drinking and dancing. She remembered how intrigued she had been with that woman who radiated such strength and determination but at the same time warmth and reassurance. Although they had lived very similar lives, growing up in the Belt, falling under the spell of false saviors and fighting their way out towards their own truth, they were very different people. Drummer had never believed in love, to her it was a pretty story people liked to tell themselves to feel special and to fabricate a sense in their insignificant little shitty existence in context of the big picture. She believed in loyalty, in the common goal of reclaiming the Belt. When she was tired, she slept, when she was hungry, she ate and when she was horny, she fucked. It was as simple as that. But knowing Naomi made things complicated. She was a Belter crewing with Inners, loyal to her little family, committed to the Belt with a severe distrust of the OPA. Drummer couldn’t explain it, but for some reason she had an inherit trust in Naomi, that what she was doing was right, even if she didn’t understand it. Which made it all the more painful that Naomi didn’t seem to have the same trust in her, that she considered her a wrong reason…

Drummer flinched in surprise when she suddenly felt a hand on her cheek.

“Are you okay? Are you in pain?”  
For a moment Drummer wasn’t sure what to say, staring into Naomi’s huge brown eyes, filled with real concern and affection, which she couldn’t quite convince herself was directed at her, she slowly shook her head. “No, mi gut. I will be ok.”

Naomi sat still for a few seconds looking at her, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, then closed it again, with a regretful smile she stood up.  
“Get some rest”  
She turned and walked out the door. As it closed Drummer was left with her numb legs and the sound of the air recyclers.


End file.
